Every time I write a blog post, I think about how badly I wish I had written down all my struggles and frustrations with wedding planning when I was going through it about 3 years ago.
 
I want to be the source of info that speaks right to that heart of your struggles rather than just inundating you with more and more information that you can find from big wedding media companies where half the writers haven’t even gotten married yet.
 
Luckily for me, I’ve known four engaged babes since I started this blog in September. A couple of them have been gracious enough to share their experiences, ask me their questions and even use The Ultimate Wedding Planning Binder. It helps refresh my memory with what you all are going through.
 
My friend, Ana, who’s currently 10 months away from her wedding date let me in on some of her planning struggles since she got engaged in November and agreed to let me bug her twice more before she gets married to see what her new pain points are along the journey.
 
That means we’ll have a 6 month check-in and a 3 month check-in where Ana will write out what’s been on her mind and I will address it below with any comments or suggestions for her and other brides going through the same thing.
 
Let’s get started!
 

1. “Engagement is supposed to be a super happy time and IT IS. But a lot of people don’t acknowledge how much of a “sudden” stress (even if it’s a good stress) it can be on the bride and couple.”

 
Ana ended up addressing this for herself and realizing that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. I remember this feeling well. I thought because my fiancé and I had such a great relationship and because I consider myself “laid back” we wouldn’t have any stress or arguments. I was going to be rational, sweet and happy 100% of our engagement.
 
Yeah freakin’ right. We didn’t do too bad on the argument side of things, but there definitely were a few, and I definitely got stressed out. There is soooo much that goes into planning an event and corralling all your family to get on the same page of this event. People do this as a job, so to add it on top of your full time job… it’s bound to affect you in some way.
 
I also think we put a lot of pressure on the day and things that could potentially go wrong rather than remember that this engagement period is actually meant to be discussing, compromising and planning your future with the love of you life. I say it a lot, but marriage > wedding. Just repeat that mantra every day!
 

2. “Figuring out my/your wedding planning team. We all know wedding planning can be a full time job. If you have people that want to be involved figuring out how to delegate tasks to them (and which tasks you trust each of them with) is CRUCIAL in getting your vendor search underway.” 

 
Ana expressed that family  wanted to take over the planning and be helpful  (which is a sweet intention, but not always the easiest or most efficient). She also said, and, I’m 95% sure this is true for every female who marries a male, making sure your fiancé knows what to do because he likely won’t know where to start.
 
I am pretty independent (or maybe “controlling” is a better word) when it comes to party planning. I know what I want, can envision it all in my head and want to just do it myself. I rarely want other people’s suggestions or even help BUT I definitely knew I needed it for the wedding. I was more than happy to let my mom help, because a) she was paying for it and b) she knows me and my taste and was completely cool with letting me do what I envisioned. She never stepped in and said to do something another way. She wasn’t even passive aggressive.
 
Apparently, I had it easy. I have heard from soooo many brides that family fought them along the way the whole time. It’s a sticky subject because you love them and they love you. It’s especially a sticky subject when that same family is financially contributing thousands of dollars.
 
I would suggest that you have to be a little assertive. I like how Ana used the term “team,” because I think you should run this like you’d lead a group project or a team at work. It can be a collaborative effort, but ultimately you need someone to make the calls and your fiancé and you are the ones get to do that. 
 
When it comes to your fiancé, make him a list with deadlines. Talk to him first; don’t just assume he is willing to do everything, but tell him you need his help and ask if there are any tasks he is interested in helping with. If you know his thing is craft beer, ask if he’ll make the bar menu or come up with ya’ll signature drinks.