This post is sponsored in part by Minted. Please be aware that there are affiliate links within this post, and if you decide to purchase I may be compensated. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
There are like 10000000000 pieces of stationary when it comes to throwing a wedding, so it’s no wonder that section of this blog is becoming robust pretty quickly. One of the first pieces of paper you’ll work on is your Save the Date’s. I want this to be about what they should contain, who they should go to and basic etiquette.
First thing you have to do is decide on your guest list. It will feel early on and there is a tiny tiny chance this will change before the wedding, but for 99.9% of the list, you’ve got to commit to it now. If you need help on that, read this.
After that you need to decide whether or not you want a photo of yourselves on them and book an engagement photoshoot if you do. I think they can look great with or without an image, so it’s really up to you guys. Don’t feel pressured to add on the extra expense if you’re into the simple Save the Dates more.
If you do take engagement photos in mind, I would advise you take a quick peek at potential save the date formats first. This might dictate the type of photo you take or what you wear. Most people base the stationary on the photos and that works too, but sometimes your favorite photos won’t work with your favorite save the dates, so being proactive about will increase the chance that you can have the best of both worlds.
Are they necessary?
My opinion is yes. Not because they do that much or are integral to having a good wedding, but mainly because people expect them. I know for me, most weddings aren’t really official in my book until I get the paper saying the date and location. Things can change and often people’s venue and dates fluctuate, and unless I’m really close to them I won’t receive any official confirmation on either until I get the save the date in the mail.
I also think very people have weddings where they don’t invite at least one out-of-state person anymore, so if you’re going to do that providing them with 6-8 months notice is just courteous. That gives them a shot at booking affordable accommodations and travel. Sure, you could let them know another way, and depending on the number of travelers that could be sufficient. I just think there’s nothing that reminds me to book a hotel better than constantly seeing my friends on my refrigerator everyday.
I would also say they should be mandatory for a destination wedding. If everyone is traveling than everyone needs super early notice. You’d be surprised how many people can’t take off for it without asking their bosses 6+ months in advance.
On the other hand, if you’re having a small, intimate wedding or an email or text can easily be sent in lieu of save the dates.
When you should send them
The general rule of thumb is 6-8 months in advance of the wedding. You can air closer to 6 if you’re having a local wedding with limited traveling guests and should send closer to 8 months if it’s a destination wedding.
Who to send them to
You’re entire guest list and like invites, one per household is usually enough. I believe I made the dumb mistake of ordering 200 because we were inviting 200 people when we were working on save the dates… that’s silly, because husbands and wives don’t each need one. Definitely make sure you’re counting both households and individuals in your guest list. If you’re questioning who gets a separate one in each family, this post works with save the dates too.
As I mentioned, you’re guest list needs to be pretty firm for this. You cannot “take back” a save the date. People will see this as “as good as invited.” I would say that you could make plus one decisions later. You can address to the individual you definitely want to attend (i.e. my friend, Sally), but wait until invites to address it as “Sally and guest.” This gives you a little more time to hear from friends and family and see if there are any major shifts in attendance than you originally predicted.
P.S. Some people don’t recommend that, because they’re looking out for those SO and want to be sure they can also make plans and find a place to say. I think if you’re on the fence about your friend bringing someone anyway, it’s cool to take that chance.
What they should contain
It’s actually pretty simple. The only things they have to contain are below:
- Your name’s
- The wedding date
- The city and state you’re getting married in
- (Optional) A photo of the couple
- (Optional) Your wedding website
- (Optional) “Formal invitation to follow”
If you need help addressing your envelopes a) I don’t blame you. That etiquette is awfully difficult!!! b) check this out.
Where to buy them
Almost all stationary brands offer save the dates, but I truly think Minted has some stunning options. I had a hard time limiting them down to just four favorites. If you’re interested in shopping them, just click the save the date in this post, and you’ll be taken directly to where you can purchase.
Money-saving tips
- Keep them as postcards and forgo envelopes
- Make them black and white
- Create DIY save the dates on Adobe Illustrator, InDesign, etc.
- (For small weddings and elopements) Make them e-cards instead
- OR do half e-cards (for the young friends that will actually see them) and half print (grandma, grandpa, great uncle Bob, etc.)
- Use old photo instead of taking new engagement photos
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