She called it “Letter Addressing Etiquette: Millennial Edition.” I thought that was sooo brilliant, so thank you, Allyson, for this suggestion! I’m about to tackle that for all of you that have the same questions, because I know I did too. It was veryyy confusing for me at first.
Wedding etiquette is super hard, and if you have a calligrapher to do the invite, they’ll likely know how to address, but it’s up to you to tell them the correct title or explanation so that they can address it correctly. They won’t know if Uncle Bob is a doctor or Aunt Jill goes by her maiden name if you don’t tell them.
I’ve tried to map out every single scenario I could possibly think of, but if I’m missing something ask me in the comments and I’ll reply as well as add that to this post! I’ve also made a pretty free printable, if you’d like print that and use as reference, than just join the weekly newsletter and you’ll get all the printable sent straight to your inbox.
The whole family:
The Hernandez Family
Parents and only the older kids:
Mr. and Mrs. Hernandez
Miss Jane Hernandez*
Mr. John Hernandez
- Read on to see if you should label the female kids as “Ms.” or “Miss.”
- You can decide whether or not you should male 18+ single “kids” that don’t live with their parents separate invitations. I would advise just adding their name on their parents invite if they’re living in a dorm or have a temporary living situation. If they’ve moved out of the house permanently, I would suggest treating them like “single males” or “single females” and sending separate invites than their parents
- You don’t have to invite babies or toddlers to your wedding. That’s up to you. Just be clear to address everyone else individually and make sure they RSVP the correct number of people sans little kiddos.
Married couple with different last names:
Mrs. Lisa Jones and John Hernandez
OR
Mrs. Lisa Jones-Hernandez and Mr. John Hernandez
Married couple with one title:
Dr. And Mrs. Hernandez
OR
Dr. Lisa and Mr. John Hernandez
Married couple with two title:
Dr. Lisa Hernandez and Dr. John Hernandez
Single female under the age of 18:
Miss Jane Hernandez
Single female over the age of 18:
Ms. Jane Hernandez
Single male:
Mr. John Hernandez
Single person with a plus one:
Ms. Jane Hernandez and guest
OR
Mr. John Hernandez and guest
Single person with their live-in significant other:
Ms. Julie Jones
Mr. John Hernandez
Divorced person:
Mr. Jeffrey Hernandez
OR
Ms. Jane Hernandez
Other notes:
- The same rules apply to same sex couples. I would order them alphabetically when deciding which name goes first or last.
- Roommates (i.e. people that live together, but aren’t dating or married) get separate invitations
- Unmarried couples that have separate addresses get separate invitations. If you don’t know your friend’s significant other well enough to ask for the address, feel free to label the invite as “Ms. Friend LastName and guest.”
- Supposedly you can do “Mrs.” for widowed females, but I would use your best judgement about whether “Mrs.” or “Ms.” Is appropriate.
- Don’t use any nicknames or their middle name (even if that’s what they go by).
- Don’t abbreviate anything in the street address part (i.e. no “Blvd,” “Apt.” or “NY.”)
Sample proper address:
The Hernandez Family
224 Park Avenue, Apartment 4S
New York City, New York 10014
